Working on myself !

img_4307Sometimes we need someone to help us understand ourselves. Sometimes knowing ourselves is not truly enough. We might think we know a lot, but in reality we only know but so much. Sometimes we need someone on the outside to help us understand us, to help us see more deep inside of ourselves. 

I often ask myself, what am I doing wrong?, but I fail to see it as am doing it. This is, I guess, my number one mistake. Am automatically reacting to most of what is said to me, even before actually understanding it. Am often assuming to anything and everything even before hearing it all. How will I understand what is being said and/or told to me if am actually jumping into conclusion way ahead of time ?. This are some of the questions that I ask myself when I get to realized that I messed up. Usually I realized this way after the fact.

See, I tend to think that I don’t judge people. Somehow I do not. But at the same time I do. Why I say this ?. Well for instance, if it was totally true that I don’t judge people deep inside, it shouldn’t matter, my reaction per say. Why ?. Because I shouldn’t have any, I should just be able to come across their point of view, I should be able to not only listen but to understand them. I actually should even be able to  help somehow. But instead what I do, whether I want to admit it or not, is judge, what i tend to do is react to the fact, point blank.

This is wrong and poor communication skills. I just realized, to be totally honest, that I have to make some changes. What would I do to change that ?, is the most important question at this time.

Frist I think is very crucial to know that we are all just different people. That all of us have different points of view and understandings to just about everything and anything. That if we want to try to understand the next person, regardless of who this one might be, we need to really establish in our heads were he or she is coming from, and that it is not just about us. That the universe and this life is not only focus on just us. (In this case this paragraph goes directly to myself). I really believe that I should be more focused on this and perhaps act on it accordingly. I tend to think everything somehow revolves just around me. It is NOT Frank.

The more we think, the more I think I understand it all, the more I come to realized I do not. Why ?. Well, because what you think you understand and what you think only you know, can easily be proven wrong. Again, why ?. Because people, just like you and I, think, see, and feel totally different just about everything. And that is why we will never be the only ones who understand or know it all.

I have someone who is very special to me, she actually means the world to me. She is the only person that for the last few moths instead of walking out is eager to make me realized the wrong things I do or say, she actually work hard on trying to make me see things different. She tries to make me understand not only her pain of view but also tries to make me understand my own and myself. And to be honest she does not do it for the worst, but for the better. I actually understand that now. I’ve come to see what exactly she means when she speaks, when she points something out to me, when there’s a discussion or just a small talk. Am actually learning how to understand her and were she’s coming from. Again the universe does not revolve around our only self.

We all have our history, our past, even our present, is totally different from one another. How can we make things work and/or get better if we are only looking dead ass to our own selfs and make everything about us ? Only when we see deeply to the other and work ourselves in understanding the next person is when we are able to not only understand ourselves but to know our own selves the way we can and should. 

Some of us, including myself and mainly myself, withdraw from things and other people, because we think it is best. Well it isn’t. Withdrawing yourself from others might actually be one of the biggest mistakes one can possibly do. You will never grow as a person, you will never be able not only to learn but to interact with others positively. Communicating efficiently is the most important thing to be able to do. Understanding and respecting others view and/or thoughts follows. Getting to see how others feel and not judge because you understand how their past and perhaps what or where their coming from is extremely important as well. This will all lead to personal growth and it will ensure a very good relationship to  or with the other person. This relationships can be one you might have with an acquaintance, co-worker, boss, family, friends, personal loved one, and/or with just anybody in your circle. You must learn how to understand and respect others.



To be continued…

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