FEAR

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Are you scare or afraid of anything ?.

Hell yeah I am, and so should you. Maybe not at the things I am, but wait until you hear what am talking about, wait until you can imagine what I have… Only then, tell me you don’t fear anything.

There are things in life that might scare you a bit, things that you won’t dear to do or even try, things that somehow crawl inside you and get you the goose bumps. But that’s not it, that is nothing compare to what am gonna talk about. You might be scare of some sort of insects or animals per say, you might be scare of going to places at night, perhaps the cemetery with a flash light, you might even be scare of something normal like, a dark room, heights, sky diving or deep swimming, ( well am actually scare of the last two), but still that’s not it, am gonna go deeper than that. Am gonna talk about what I actually fear, and this subject actually takes my breath away, it makes my hear beat really fast, it takes everything from me, every single time I think and I imagine it. What am gonna share with you all scare’s the shit out of me and it has become my biggest fear for a very long time.

I don’t like dreaming about it, even though I can talk about it with no problem. I don’t like seeing the things I see in those dreams, It gives me the chills. I wake up so fast, to just start talking to God about it, sometimes I pick up the bible just to get the images out of my head, music helps from time to time, even writing takes it away. But it actually never leave, it’s like it’s just there waiting on me, for me, it’s just taking it’s time, looking for the right moment to grab me, to take me away.

Death, she’s so relaxing, just looking for when to do her job.

There is no way around it, I know, but still I don’t want to die yet, am not ready for it, am scare as fuck when I think about it, I honestly fear death, and am gonna tell you why, because honestly I am not ready for my funeral.

The dreams come out of nowhere, they just crawl inside like little bugs. I see, feel and hear everything that goes on in those dreams. It is crazy, but is even more scary than you think. I see when I die, I can feel it. I see when am in my own funeral, am right there, next to everyone in the room. I see those talking and crying, but all I can do is just watch, I can say nothing to anyone. I see the amount of people that actually loved me and the ones that cared. I see myself walking around the room, listening to what people are saying and just looking back at myself laying in that casket. It is not a fun thing to watch, not at all. I see myself staring at myself, I look dull, just in peace, but I know am not, am still wondering, asking wtf is going on?. It’s like even though I know it’s my time to go, am not ready, am saying to myself, (God you made a mistake, am not ready to go). But is me the one laying there, is me the one who’s gonna get buried, and is me the one watching everything take place, am the biggest witness in my funeral. Doesn’t that sound scary ?.

In my dreams I just get to witness what happen, I don’t get to see details. I don’t know what am wearing or what anyone is wearing, I don’t see exactly who shows up to my funeral, I just see a lot of people. I don’t know where it takes place or when. All I know and can say is that is not cool at all to see this even if is in your dreams.

Then this dreams change, they show me more scarier things. I don’t know if there is such a thing as heaven or hell, I haven’t gotten in my dreams in either or, but what I can say is that a lot is gonna be right here, in this world. There is a lot of us that are taking God and death for granted, and that’s a big mistake we are making. I pray that all you actually do whats right and ask God to forgive you, because what I get to see In my dreams is not good nore fun. It is actually the very other meaning of those words.

The fire is so big, it’s really unbelievable, the things that take place are so scary. Things falling, braking down. The skies look and sound like if they breaking apart little by little. There is no water to run to. The people are screaming and running all over, getting caught up in the fire, getting smash from everywhere. There is some very loud siren all around the world, and besides that, all everyone can hear is the voices of all of us, screaming, shooting for help, for Gods help. I have never felt so much pain watching something so hurtful in my life. I have never hear so many loud voices screaming together. (Listen, I don’t want to die, am scare of dying, and I fear death, seriously, but I definitely don’t want to suffer like those who I watch suffer the way I see in my dreams). It is really bad, it’s really scary. The way people attack and kill themselves because they don’t want to suffer or continue to get hurt is awful, is like nothing you have ever seen before, not even in TV. All you see is fire, smoke all over, in the streets, buildings coming down, structures, houses, everywhere, everything coming down the skies is on fire, and is coming so fast straight to all of us, aming right at us. There is no hesitation, there is no stoping. People running on fire, begging for help. Every living thing is looking for someplace save to go, there is none. Is only destruction all over the world. Watching these scene in my dreams is so much worst than any action/horror/drama/history movie ever made. Hollywood have no idea on recreating this images. You will fear every single thing that you see and feel.

I fear death because she is constantly showing me this. I fear death because it is not peace what you will taste, not at all. I fear death because it is a constant and a no stoping pain that you’ll be experiencing. And I am scare of death because imagine the things she will do that she hasn’t even aloud me to see in my dreams.

 burning_district

**NOTE

As I began writing this note, something told me to write this, I have no idea why, but it became from inside…

(F.E.A.R.) Forget Everyone Around Roses

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