THOUGHTS

Why is so difficult ?

Fantasy_The_struggle_of_good_and_evil_041391_It has been to long since I felt like this, God is here the devil as well…  

So the good power tells me, it encourage me to think to analyze everything, it tells me that he’ll help me through…

The evil tells me otherwise… It tells me to go ahed, to show them who you really are, what your’e about, is time for all of them to know what’s up, go retaliate, do what you do best, Im here we can plan this together all the way, trust me I won’t let you down…

The pain that I am feeling is enormous, it came back even stronger, the need of punishment, of seeing them in worst conditions call me, my thirst grow stronger, what do I do ?…

I answer the good one. Yes God help me, lead me to a straigh path, give me guidance, give me strength, don’t let me do something stupid, something I’ll regret, but at the other hand I turn around and tell the evil, yeah  fuck that, lets go, no questions ask, lets do it like this and like that, you know you the man when it comes to that, is no one better than you for bad things, come on you got me hype now, lets drink something, get my blood hot, then we do what we do, What ever you tell me, lead the way, im right behind you, don’t worry, im so hot right now, we’ll get away…

Then all of a sudden the good comes back into play from depper inside me and tells me, nah, what your’e doing ?, you think is funny?, this is not a joke, it’s not a game out there, you’re just letting the evil control you, if you let that happen that will be only the beggining of a downfall, come on man think, you have a son, a son who you have showed me you do anything for, You had told me you don’t want him to go through the things you had went through when you was growing up, when you was his age, you told me you was going to do whatever you have to, to give him a better life, what happened now ?, you just gonna follow your first instinct ?, the one of reaction, not thinking of consequences ?…

The Devil gets back up even whit a stronger tone this time…

Nah fuck that, fuck him, listen to me, you have seen what has happened don’t listen to this fool, he just want you to be weak, to put up the other shin and keep getting hit, keep getting knock out, are you going to continue on letting it happen or are you going to put a stop right now and take matters into your own hands ?, Im here for you, like I said I won’t let anything happen to you brother, and don’t listen to this consequences bullshit, look at the consequences he had made us all go by putting us in this so called earth place anyways, why don’t you tell him that, see what answers he can come up with, listen to me and listen very clear, look at all you guys, you guys are all suffering  don’t you see it ?, can u see it now?, I know you could but don’t worry you’re not alone Im here to show you what you need to do, just pay attention and listen to me…

God raises up and tells me…

Hey listen, just calm down lets think together come on talk to me, tell me what’s really bothering you, why you want to listen to him again ?, so he can get you back into prison ?, I saw you had it really bad in there, no visit, no commissary, no money or packages send from no one, you when through it by yourself, so tell me, is that what you really want again ?, in top of that you can forget about your son because you won’t be seen him for a very long time, you know in your shoes very well that if you choose to do something stupid there’s not a really good deal anymore it’s gonna be over for you and then when your life is over you gonna come see me and we are going to have a determinated disscusion about the wrong decisions you had made and the ones that I personally try to make you avoid, but don’t worry im here and always will be, but only to help you in making good desicions…

The Devil comes back and tells him…

You whit those silly words, all you’re doing is trying to put the man down, there is no need for that, haven’t you saw what they did to him ?, what !, you’re just waiting for another chance they get to put him in worst condition ?, don’t you see that is so much envy and hate around him ?, perhaps something worst can happen next time to him or on every minute or chance the get, but yet here you are trying to calm the man whit this prison bullshit and that when he dies he got to go see you to pay up his debts ?, he has no debts with you, he’s just trying to survive, and you want him to feel guilty of something ?, he is not guilty of anything he is just taking revenge, just like you did, or you forgot that you also took revenge into this world so many years ago because you though that the best thing you had created was a mistake ?, so you had to make them pay for all wrong they was all doing back down here, what humanity did back then, that God, is exactly what he is trying to do, nothing more…

Nature_of_Good_and_Evil_by_Young_WolfIn the meantime im just here listening to the good and evil conversation, trying to put two and two together, It is so dificult to see my self in the mirror knowing that all I see is so much wrong and so much hate, the fact of wanting to hurt is greatter than what I espect it to be, but the pursued of watching my son grow next to me seems even greater, for now what I do know in between the Devil and God conversation is that is such an intrigue conversation, very persuasive and im going to just keep listening deep inside me so when I do make a decision it is one that benefit me and my son the right way, because this conversation taking place here, inside of me, is what I call the battle between good and evil inside of me….

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One thought on “THOUGHTS

  1. What a great post! I just followed you to stay updated on your future posts and I look forward to them. I recently started my own personal blog, so feel free to check out my profile where you’ll find my blog and social media sites.

    Have a great day 😀

    Like

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